Playa hatin'

Saw this on TV and had to post it here, because it's a great example of street punkdom in the NFL. Chad Johnson, the Bengal's self-obsessed receiver, has requested that he be called by his number (85) in Spanish as a tip of the hat to Hispanic Heritage Month. Nice idea. Bad execution.

Seems old Chad, whose command of English is often lacking, didn't even bother to get the translation right, referring to himself as "ocho cinco" ("eight five") rather than "ochenta cinco" ("eighty five"). Hell, I can't speak Spanish to save my life, but it took me all of a minute to look up the proper form on the internet. It's not like it's classified information or anything.

But, he's Chad Johnson, he's got a gold mohawk, and the sporting and news establishment have their noses shoved so far up his keister that they could care less.

Let's hear it for promoting illiteracy in two languages.

Street Punkdom

It's not a secret that I love football (and that includes real football, American football, and Aussie Rules football). It's also not a a secret that if I root for a team, it's basically the kiss of death for them. With precious few exceptions (i.e. FSU's national titles in '93 and '99), I can always count on my teams to somehow find a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. This is my 30th year as a Seattle Seahawks fan. We got close last year, but there still are exactly zero Vince Lombardi trophies in Seattle. Maybe before I die?

But I digress. There are basically two things about both NFL and NCAA football that are really wearing on my patience. Today I'll tackle the first one: "old school" vs. "new school". This is really coded language for "more reserved, civilized, classy behavior" vs. "hip-hop street punk culture". I'm really getting sick of gold-chain wearing, self-aggrandizing, loud, bragging, camera-hogging athletes whose narcissism is only outstripped by their poor command of the English language.

I know we're not supposed to discuss this because of a combination of political correctness and collective white guilt, but I lack both of these blinders. Plus, it has nothing to do with race. Look at how Donovan McNabb handled T.O.'s endless verbal abuse. Look at how Marvin Harrison quietly and competently excels. Listen to Tom Jackson or Marshal Faulk on TV. Look at how they dress. You'll note that their ethnicity has nothing to do with their behavior. They just, for whatever reasons, behave like civilized human beings rather than street punks and dress like professionals rather than pimps.

The thing about this street punkishness that annoys me isn't merely the fact that these punks behave like primitive savages (as in the Miami / FIU game a few weeks ago), it's that they not only come across as being stupid, but they're actually proud of themselves for it. I'm all for rebellion and independence, and I'm the first to admit that people should have a right to be stupid (as long as they don't aggress against others), but I'm sorry: being stupid should not be cool.

Unfortunately, it's obviously quite profitable. From beer to tire commercials, from TV shows to movies to theater, street punkishness is not only in, but making the cash registers ring. Yet more proof that as much as Americans may claim to value education, they really don't.